2/22/18 #wip this is my story about RACE. I love to draw different races, different gender,different facial expressions.
When I carried two giant suitcases, left my home country, and landed to this strange land 8 years ago, I didn’t realize the most difficult obstacle, is not language, is RACE. Yes. People view me as a Chinese girl first and very soon lost interest on me. For the first whole year of 2010, I didn’t make a single friend, real friend. Girls at school were looking at me in a weird way. One day, when I walked into a classroom and randomly selected a seat , the white girl next to me said something that I can ever forget: “YOU SMELL LIKE KIMCHI. Ewwww.” And she walked away. That was the first time I started to doubt my race. WHO AM I? WHERE I CAME FROM? I was shocked and shamed at the same time that my brain wasn’t able to even think a word to fight her back. I just looked at her disappeared and my tears just dropped without notice.
For a long time, I was extremely lonely. I was trying too hard to “fit in” and lost myself. I hate myself and can’t help to push away myself.
Then...time passes by, soundlessly. I gradually realized that I MUST stop doubting my race. My face. And where I came from. I started to feel proud. I started to love my “kimchi” smell. I stared myself in mirror naked, and the first time I love myself. My body and my soul. Gradually I gained confidence of myself. And I became less annoyed by those people, less care about what they thought. I don’t have friends, so what. I have myself. Things can change. When I started to love who I truly am. Miracle happened. I started to have friends who truly care about me. That was the first time my heart feels warm. For a very long time I was walking in a desert with an exhausted soul and body. I finally can rest, drink and feel belong.
In order for others to love you, you have to love yourself first. Love each part of yourself. Body and soul.
This is my cousin Coco aka Jorge. Our moms are sisters. And he’s like a brother to me. He is one of the funniest, loyal and genuine people I know. I can talk to him about anything. Every time I go to Peru, he’s down to go wherever whenever. 🚗 This is us on our grandparents land. He was showing me all the fruits and vegetables that are grown there. 🥑 More photos of that coming soon. #tbt
Happy Almost-Weekend, my reader fam! How are you guys doing? I know I’ve been a bit quiet and not reviewing books as much as you like, but I promise I have a lot of things planned!
Tell me all about what you’re currently reading! Im planning on finishing my current read tonight - sad to say I’m not enjoying the new John Green as much as I’d hoped.